First Things First

tumblr_n7us06qnie1s7qitoo4_1280My earliest memory is that of me as a child, I know big surprise there, but I must’ve been about 4. I can’t recall the home I inhabited, faces of those involved, or even the scenery (other than a vague view of a grass field and what I believe to be some sort of drain pipe or ditch). However I remember vividly the prompting impulse to visit a friend and the solo adventure that ensued. Now in reality this voyage was just a 4 year old waddling across a field to the babysitters house, aka my nearby friend, while my mother slept and dad was at work however as I recall, it was an adventure like no other. The stretch between felt long and the arrival unrecalled but the appearance of my mom, not long after, can’t be forgotten. This must’ve been the first time my mother experienced the mix of emotions consisting of stress, fear, shock, anger, relief and insanity that I would begin to cause regularly.  She awoke with no child in site within a fear stitched society called America where every stranger has devious plots and every slightly wrinkled candy is laced with drugs. Coincidentally I was also a very trusting adventurous and excited young kid who wandered quite often (In fact upon recollection many of my memories from childhood and even lately involve wandering the unknown or even just getting lost). Upon discovery of my adventures finish line she was filled with relief no doubt but rage, and fear of this reoccurring with harsher outcomes, were what overcame her relief. Now I don’t know if I realized this at the time but I began to understand how emotions could mix from that point. People’s thoughts and emotions have always fascinated me how they are never singular or identical like what we learn in school. Everyone reacts with a multitude of emotion varying by the individual. That was the first moment where my fascination was captured by that. It wasn’t till recently however that I began to notice how often that fascination crossed my mind. It was always there taking note and being amused by the complexity of the minds perception. That’s what I’ve always credited for my love of travel. My love of emotion and human thoughts fuel my drive to experience new places not for scenery but the people, the cultures, and experiences they have (the beautiful vistas are just a bonus). Now at the same time people tire me, society invokes hatred in me, and the thought of the human race disappoints me. It’s quite the oxymoron that pushes me in two directions: one leading to a life surrounded by culture people and endless conversations, the other to a life of solitude and peace driven by a need for freedom more than anything else, and in quite the cliché fashion living in a cabin surrounded by nothing but wilderness for acres. Both are unreasonably appealing as they fulfil my desire for relaxing isolation along with my need for interaction and stimulating conversation. Thus my goal was born. I currently strive towards an actual defined goal, something which is new to me. I am now driven to be a Vandweller (Vandwelling is a lifestyle of living full or part-time in a wide variety of vehicles, most well known the hippie labelled VW kombi). Now while it in no way is meant to be a permanent solution I believe it will allow me the freedom I enjoy along with the socialising I crave. With this I can travel constantly, have my freedom, socialise daily, and venture towards new cultures. For the first time in my life I have something I’m working towards and I’m willing to do what it takes to achieve it.


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